In Memory

© jb katke

Memorial Day is fast approaching—bringing any sort of memories to the surface. Growing up in my parents home, we always loaded up the car with flowers and a modest picnic fare, traveling north to Sowles Cemetery. 

The trip was not long, but took up the day. It was an extended weekend designed give honor to those who died defending our country. The family cemetery held deceased relatives, but none to my knowledge served in the military. Those that did serve were buried elsewhere.

Originally, Memorial Day was known as Decoration Day. That description was more in keeping with what Mom and Dad did. Bringing clippers to trim around the graves and planting flowers, Geraniums come to mind. The graves were the final resting place of both my parents grandparents. People I never knew but were real to my folks.

After marriage, Dave and I never followed that tradition. But there are other ways that show honor. In my personal calendar I mark both the birth and death dates of those I love—bringing them to mind at least a couple times a year.

Something I learned about the guards of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier is certainly commendable. There are numerous rules and regulations that I will not go into. But will share what took place in 2003. Hurricane Isabelle was making her way to the DC area. In the gearing up preparation for the coming storm, the House and Senate relieved duty of the guards. Only they would not hear of it, “No way,” was their response. In the midst of that storm, the guards endured getting soaked to the skin with pelting rain and high winds. They said, “Being assigned to the Tomb was not just an assignment, it is the highest honor that can be afforded to a serviceperson.”  

That, my friend, is showing respect.

Recently, in reading some of the Good Book, I learned of yet another way of showing honor. Back in the day of course. When an important event or interaction between two people (or nations) took place, stones would be laid as a monument. It was erected as a means of remembrance of what took place. Children that were not present at the time would learn the history and importance of the event.

What about right now—how could one make a personal memorial for others to see? Here is one suggestion. Make a timeline. Draw a long line on paper—start with the day of your birth. Continue on making x’s or a dot wherever something eventful took place. Give the date and event. Note when your parents died and from what, the day President Kennedy was assassinated, when man landed on the moon—as well as personal stuff, wedding, children. You get the idea.

As grandparents, we have witnessed a few things. It will give the grandchildren something to learn from you. Meaningful communication is never a bad thing.

By the way. The above photo is of my husband who served our country, but has not died in so doing. He remains with me still today!

Christmas 2022

 © jb katke

Tis the season to be jolly. Are you feeling it? I’ve been told the Christmas carols were lurking about long before Halloween.

While I don’t want to camp here, many look upon the holidays with dread. It’s another year without a loved one, a time where family thinks Grandma should be baking all those Christmas cookies, another season where gifts are expected. So many demands of the season. And maybe you’re just are not feeling it. Yet.

I wish to introduce you to some alternative ways to tackle the holiday season. If you don’t have a home church to attend, try one this year. Lots of people do. The choices are many, but if you find a keeper church, make it a new tradition to go every Sunday throughout the next year. You may be surprised to find many others like yourself. Find joy in getting out of bed to hear an encouraging word.  

We don’t have to look far to see another individual in need. You could make a difference. Particularly this year, with so many coming at us from foreign countries. I don’t wish to camp there either. But I will share a couple experiences Dave and I had long ago.

While still living in Michigan, we learned the family living across the street were renters from Great Britain. The company the husband worked for sent him to the US on a temporary project. It was Thanksgiving and we decided to open our home to them for our big dinner. We all had a wonderful time and later they returned the kindness by inviting us over for a meal. What stands out in my memory was their greeting us by the door, all standing like ducks in a row to welcome us. Traditions vary and its fun to learn how others celebrate.

Another time, here in Kansas our church gathered the names of some in our community that could use a little Christian love. We were encouraged to use baskets to fill with all kinds of food for a Christmas meal. Our Bible study group decided on a laundry basket instead, as it would hold more and be useful the rest of the year too. We shopped together gathering food for a meal not to be forgotten. When we delivered it, we became aware, this family had no oven!

That was not acceptable for the turkey we had in their basket. Fortunately, one of our group had a family member employed at an appliance shop. (Need I insert here that God never makes a mistake? The Good Book says all things work together for good to those who are called according to his purpose.) A range was selected for them and we got it delivered and installed in time for that meal.

Whatever your traditions may be, I wish you the Merriest Christmas ever.

Tradition

“’What is your favorite Christmas tradition?” 20191208_154746

It was an icebreaker question for my tablemates at Bible study.  First off, getting-to-know you questions are dumb. We are women, nurturers at heart, compatible beings, user-friendly and capable of carrying on a conversation.  With or without cause. We have words and know how to use them.

Secondly, I don’t have a favorite Christmas tradition.  My mom did. When you got any clothes for Christmas, you couldn’t wear them until after the New Year. Where she came up with this I don’t know.

After I got married, this went out the window.  With gusto.

As far as Christmas shopping is concerned,  my husband is not prone to buy clothes.  Many Christmases ago, as I shopped for others, I kept seeing things I’d like for myself.

When my husband returned home from work I told him, “You have some clothes on hold at the store.  Pick through them and surprise me for Christmas.”

He did.  I got them all-and amazingly they all were the right size.  Not all husbands can do that.

When I was a child, Aunt Jane had the tradition of hiding a really large gift for me behind the chair.  I caught on quickly. Christmas Eve always found me peeking at it.

Apparently I did have one tradition albeit unintentional.  It seems every Thanksgiving for too many years I clogged the garbage disposal with potato peels.

“Mom, again? You do this every year.”

“I do?”

“Yes, it happened last year too. Don’t you remember?”

“Um, no. That was last year.”

But I’ve learned.  Now I make instant potatoes. Problem solved.

Grandma Andrews had the tradition of baking fruitcakes for everyone in the family.  I grew up with them, but my little family didn’t share the love. It was mine, all mine.

Grandma died, but Aunt Jane carried on her tradition. It wasn’t until my aunt passed away that I had access to their recipe collection.   I was shocked that neither of them followed the recipe. Both these women were sticklers for doing things by the book. While I haven’t made a fruitcake yet, if I did, I’d modify it too. It’s what I do. Then wonder why it didn’t turn out good.

One would think I would learn from my mistakes, especially in the cooking department. But why change a perfectly good tradition?