© jb katke
Don’t forget! http://www.ondaywonderswithjbk.com is no more.
My domain change has arrived. Be alert and please continue to follow me at http://www.jbkatke.com
I am the same person, just a new way to continue following me. Don’t miss out!
Category: Family
Enlightenment
When the wedding ceremony is over and the reality that two becomes one, enlightenment sets in. There is a ‘No duh’ statement for you. Within hours you’re in the world of couples, and some can look a lot different.
Shortly after my marriage, I came to know a lady I’ll refer to as Plain Jane; as that is how she saw herself. According to her, the love for her husband is real and when they married, all she wanted was for them to grow old together. As time went on though, it seems that was not enough. She found herself comparing her life with others, and in her eyes, fell short of the ideal.
“The two of us together were fine at first, but then I got to wanting a baby; and that wasn’t happening fast enough to suit me.” Eventually, it came to be. We were close enough for me to see she was over her head in motherhood. “I’ve got the child, but now what do I do with it?”
That was when I realized what was going on with Plain Jane, or PJ for short; but not pajamas. The woman was always wanting something. Life was perfect, except for ____________________. Filling in the blank could be anything at any given time. Nothing seemed to satisfy her.
I recall one time her lamenting that she would like to work outside of the home. Just to talk with grown-ups and feel like she was making a contribution to her family. Having a purpose meant a lot to her. She had a few more kids as the years went by and they needed her. But that was not fulfilling to her.
More than once, I told her she was contributing. This was before there was such a thing as playdates for the children; like-wise no Moms Day Out at the local church either. I suppose being unable to change her circumstances made her feel stuck.
Our relationship continues and find ourselves more comfortable now. We are more than two peas in a pod. We are one and the same. I’m not the same person I used to be. Time and experiences make a difference.
I’ve learned that I am loved by more than just my family; God does too. He he has a plan for my life and considers me precious enough to care about things that concern me. He has let me know that I shouldn’t compare myself with others as that is dangerous to my well-being.
There is more. It is a mistake for me to worry over things out of my control, that’s infringing on his turf. Miracles are his specialty. He has my back and promised to meet my needs. I can vouch that he does. Maybe not when I think he should, but seeing how he also created the universe, I have to concede that he knows more about timing than I do.
Here is the thing that can boggle any mind. He loves everyone. Even those who least deserve it. He provides for folks that think they have complete control of their life. If the proverbial rug has pulled out from under you, its recipe that provides a chance to get to know him better. Opportunity awaits.
Raking It In
© jb katke
It’s not what you think.
In desperation, my husband Dave, brought in the rake. The problem was the bedroom our girls shared. No, not the bedroom, but the toys in it. The result turned out to be a wake-up call for all of us.
For more years than I care to admit, I have harassed the girls to put toys away and clean their room. I petitioned them. Begged them. Threatened them. Refusing them to come out until the room was clean. Playing with them in that process was more fun.
That is when I realized two things. They didn’t have a clear definition of what clean was, and that our home lacked a thing called away. We lived in an older home that did not cater to storage. What the children called cleaning was stuffing the closet, cramming things under the bed and lining the walls.
Eventually their dad got involved. As our daughters wearied of my nagging, no doubt he did too. Out came the garden rake. We took advantage of an oversize box and Dad raked all the toys into the middle of the room, scooping them into the box to take away.
“You want your toys back? You will have to buy them out of the box; and make sure you have a place to put it.”
We never charged much, five cents for the really expensive toys. Prices dropped for things of lesser value. It went well for a while. But as time went on, we noticed some toys were not ‘purchased’ back. While the contents were greatly reduced, we still couldn’t see the bottom of the box.
The kids learned their lesson, but now it was time for Dad and I to be schooled. A bottomless box cannot lie. Through the years, we had provided too much. At Christmas and birthdays, we admittedly were generous. We had our reasons; neither of the grandparents were financially able to give much. Our effort to make the day a happy one backfired. They had more than they could handle.
That took place a lifetime ago. Our girls are out of the house now, and we live in a maintenance provided community. The rake has been repurposed into a new life. Storage, how I love organization!
The girls caught on, but still have stuff, as do I. It doesn’t bother me nearly as much, now that they have a home of their own. Only they don’t want mine, as I continue to downsize. I’m talking heirloom stuff. They have learned to say “No thank you.”
My life lesson continues as I say goodbye to my excess baggage. Its freeing that I won’t have to pack it up to take in my afterlife.
The Ones Most Missed
Recently we have lost some significant people in our life. Death is a part of life, but knowing that doesn’t make it any easier. Or for that matter even welcomed. COVID is still lurking around and that is bad enough.
Pictured here is Bob Saget. His death came suddenly and no one was ready for it. Many memories of Bob have come forward since then. As with many in show business, he was involved in other realms of the Hollywood scene. His thing was stand-up comedy; it has been said some of his routines were raunchy; but that was prior to my awareness.
He loved entertaining, helping us all forget about our problems and making us laugh. I like you, might best remember him as the wise and loving television dad on Full House. Everyone loves a dad involved in a child’s life, offering wholesome support. He will be missed.
Bob wasn’t the only one though. Betty White was another pillar in Hollywood. I first ‘met’ her watching Password on TV. She was a delight to hear and seemed to be forever full of joy. Betty didn’t take herself too seriously and seemed to make anything fun. She portrayed a life well-lived and will also be missed.
Totie Fields is another one. She is from way back. I first became ‘acquainted’ with her on the Mike Douglas show. A comedian like Betty, never taking herself seriously. As I recall her jokes were mostly of her being overweight, but at peace with herself..
The one joke Totie cracked that stayed with me was when she thumped two fingers under her double chin aiming to reduce it. She would hold those fingers up for us to see how slimmed down they were. Upon hearing that, I recall thinking I’ve gotta tell Mom that, she would love it. Then it hit me, Mom died. No more could I share funny little things with her. I miss Totie’s humor.
But I miss Mom more. It’s interesting to think how much people impact our life, but we never let them know how much they mean to us. Good, wholesome people that bring a smile and joy, but it is too late now.
That is not a new realization. Back when Jesus walked the earth, he was not a funny man. But he did take himself seriously, and sure could make people smile, forget their problems, and enjoy his presence. Not everyone loved him. He would tell it like it is, much like a parent that speaks what we need to hear, not what we want to hear. .
He exuded a different kind of joy, not fun, but giving hope and restoration to people that badly needed it. Not until after his death did people realize who they had lost. The good news is it is never too late to revere him. He is a timeless kind of guy, who sent a comforter to come behind him. A spirit that gives a strength beyond what we know, and hope for a better future. We don’t have to miss him because the Good Book says he is closer than a brother. He doesn’t leave memories; he makes them as we go along together.
Those Were The Days…
my friend, we thought they’d never end. We’d sing and dance, forever and a day. Thankfully, they did end. No, I was not singing and dancing. I was going through the grocery store in three laps.
The time was in the early seventies, the place Glenview, Illinois. My husband Dave was in serving in the Navy.
We lived on a tight budget. People find this hard to believe, and even I marvel how we ever made it through. Dave was fresh out of boot camp and brought home $77.00 every two weeks. That covered paying on a mobile home we were trying to sell and rent for our furnished apartment. Furniture that I could pick up with one hand.
Our lives were much improved over that earlier time when we had two to five cents between us by his next payday. But now we had a baby and they don’t come cheap. We were stationed north of Chicago, but still under the dictates of the city. The meat packers union decided to close the meat counters at 6:00pm. To go grocery shopping after six, you would find the meat counter under cover; unable to purchase anything there.
At that time, we were a single-car family, making it impossible for me to shop early in the day, as Dave had the car at work. He would race home, so our little son, Jamie and I could hop in the car to get our weekly groceries.
Our first stop was at the meat counter. Fortunately, we could purchase meat after six; getting it into our cart before six, our battle was won. Then we would go up and down each aisle picking up the bare essentials.
Oh! Did I mention our little clicker? As we carefully selected each item we added up the price in our handheld clicker. We used mindful caution not to break the bank. This was before the day of a calculator on our cell phone. If anyone spoke of carrying a telephone around wherever we went; we would think they were nuts. Today, people go nuts if they’ve mislaid their cell phone.
The third trip though the store was if we could afford any pleasures. A brownie mix or package of cookies, you get the idea. People speak of the good old days, I’m here to tell you, not all of them were so good. Every era has its short-comings, every generation has an opportunity of obstacles to overcome.
What is amazing is we live to tell about it. Kids haven’t a clue what some of their parents went through, life was not always what it is today. I include myself in that statement; how I wish I had asked my folks what times were like way back when.
It is an eye-opening experience to comprehend what we can both live with and without. One day at a time, the good Lord sees us through it. That is the cool part, he provides what we need, when we need it. If I were to get all my life blessings at once, I would have used them up by the time I entered kindergarten.
One hour at a time, one day at a time; that’s how he rolls.
Resolving Resolutions
©jb katke
Scratch resolutions. They are nothing more than reminders of how we have let ourselves down. Again.
Upon reading through my past Happy New Year 1 blog, I find not much has changed. I continue to avoid artichoke hearts and have yet to lose weight. In fact, I’ve gained a couple pounds…tis the season you know.
The problem is this new year resolution stuff comes right after gorging ourselves during Christmas. Who arranged that? Poor planning if you ask me. Those who knock themselves out preparing holiday junk food; who am I to be rude by refusing to eat it?
This reminds me of what my husband, Dave, has always said. “If it tastes good, spit it out!”
Another decision I made long ago was to discontinue sending Christmas cards. Go figure, this year we received more than the usual folks trying to bone up their business. We actually heard from friends; whom I have decided have more of a life than we do.
Many send greetings through social media, which I find less personal and depressing. Normal people take countless pictures of friends and family. More years than I care to admit, we went without a camera, now the camera is on our phone. That doesn’t mean I will remember to snap a few memories. This year I was bound and determined to do just that.
Too bad I didn’t get a picture of our Thanksgiving memory-maker. Our meal was laid out buffet style. For the table we painstakingly laid out the silverware place settings, making certain we were all gathered together. How wonderful that our family has grown so much we ran out of chairs! Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to plan.
Christmas day was spent with our daughter and son-in-law. With no pictures to prove it. Tradition, bah humbug!
COVID came for a visit and brought our New Year’s plans to a screeching halt. You do not hear me complaining; both of us are well and are just being cautious interacting with others. It was a quiet holiday. Dave is having a time well spent with woodworking projects and I am catching up on reading.
Regardless of how much planning goes into them, our days are what they are. It is what we make of them that counts. This year has been one of reflection on the good memories. I have chosen to revel in what I have…even if there are no pictures to prove it.
If the lens in our minds have clarity that is something to be thankful for. Happy four-day old New Year!
This Is Just Between Us
“Warning! Danger!” So said the Robot on the television series, Lost In Space. This post is for adults only. If you have trouble dealing with truth, sign off and go on about your day.
I am sharing a peek of my brother with you. Bruce is seven years older than I, so I missed out on this scene. Although mentally, I can see it played out.
Bruce was around six years old, when he came home from school in the pit of depression. Entering the house, he plopped himself down on the steps leading to the kitchen with his head in his hands. Despair written all over his little face.
Mom asked, “Bruce, what happened at school today to make you so sad?”
The little guy may have had trouble speaking, choking on his words. “Some kids at school today told me there is no Santa Claus.” His face reflected the loss of a dear friend.
Our mom was always honest; even if it meant she could no longer hide the truth. She confirmed that what Bruce heard and dreaded was true. For several moments he just sat on the steps letting this soak in.
“Then I suppose there is no Easter Bunny either?” Reality can bite.
Perhaps this made you smile, remembering your own moment of truth. Looking back at my own childhood, I recall playing along with my parents, and believed in the fantasy. One can not be too careful when dealing with incoming gifts.
It also makes me recall Dave and I taking our firstborn, Jamie, to see Santa. We patiently waited in line as our boy went over what gifts he would ask for. When his turn came we helped him up on Santa’s lap. After making his requests known, we walked away. Jamie spoke up, “That was not the real Santa.” He stated it in such a matter-of-the-fact manner that we were momentarily stunned.
“Jamie, how could you tell?”
“He never once said Ho Ho Ho.”
As adults its equally hard to comprehend someone loving us; despite our faults, and joyfully giving us gifts. Especially when we least deserve them. That is precisely what Jesus’ dad does; every year the Christmas season reminds us of that. Everywhere we turn we hear songs celebrating the birth of a Savior.
Why should that be so hard to wrap our minds around? If you are a parent, you know how to give your child the desires of his heart. They are mini-you, your own flesh and blood. Out of that love you may even not give them what they asked for, but what you know they need.
Just like God does, offering us the opportunity to live in perfection forever. No other gift can top that! Warning! Danger! Be sure you don’t confuse Santa with God though. One of them is a fantasy, the other a Life Saver.
The Best Gift Ever
“For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Esther 4:15 NIV
I have a story within a story here, hang with me; every bit of it is true. The above verse is recorded during a very bad time. It hails from a long-ago society that may be hard to imagine today. There was a king, Ahasuerus, big on ego and short on temper. One could say he had a temper tantrum when his wife, who was incredibly beautiful didn’t cooperate when he ordered her to bare herself to his guests. As was common in the day, he just disposed of her. Not killing; worse, making her his concubine. No one in the outside world would have access to her for the rest of life.
But this left the king without a wife. He decides to put on a beauty contest, the winner gets to be the new queen. Enter Esther. She was a young orphan girl living with her cousin.
At the same time as this drama is unfolding, the kings right hand man, has anger issues of his own. He gets ticked at one guy and decides to have his entire Jewish race wiped out.
Only God could orchestrate this scene. Esther wins the contest, becoming the new queen. Unbeknownst to the king, she is a Jew. Because you are reading this today, you can figure out how things turned out. If you want the gory details, haul out the Good Book and read Esther for yourself. It’s one of my favorites.
The reason I go to this story length is because you might be feeling like your living in a bad time. There is no reason for me to elaborate on the conditions, you know. We find ourselves in a place we never imagined being. Still. Holidays demands give enough stress and funds can go only so far. Christmas may look different for many this year. This is why I pass these words to you.
Currently I am reading a book from one of my favorite authors, Debbie MacComber. One Simple Act, Discovering the Power of Generosity. MacComber elaborates on all the ways we can gift someone without spending an arm and a leg. One of her suggestions is plain and simple. Words. Ones that encourage, build-up and offer hope. Like Esther, you may be in such a time as this for a reason.
Your words may be spoken or written. Not everyone is good at expressing themselves but I favor the written. The receiver will hang onto your note and read it many times over. It may be outside your comfort zone, but dabble with what you might wish to hear. Chances are others would like to hear the same thing.
The beautiful thing about words there is no need to shop around for the best price. The added plus is you don’t need to wrap them. Well, maybe wrap them in truth and love. It won’t hurt. Honest! Feelings and actions acknowledged are a gift.
Words have power, Jesus’ dad proved it. According the Good Book, he spoke and nature, all of life really came to be. Creating mankind, he breathed in Adam and he came to life. The rest is history. There is more to that, but today lets focus on the birth of a perfect man, arriving on planet earth as a newborn. He experienced what the world had to offer and made a way for us to know a perfect life too. If we want it, I should add.
The WOW factor comes when we realize we don’t deserve the good things in our life, he granted them before we got our act together.
Post T-day Memories
© jb katke
We have wrapped up another Thanksgiving Day for the memory book. Like every year, this one was different. Silly me, I thought the energy of the day was in all the prep work of the house and food. Not so, it’s keeping up with the little people in the family.
I learned my great-grandchildren are a bigger treasure than I realized. They bring life to the party and a new way to play games. Six-year-old Josie and I sat down to play a Bingo game. We were each playing by differing rules; she explained, “GG I think you are playing the right way, but that is not the way I play the game.” Such tact and insight from one so young.
Matthew found Nana cleaning up in the kitchen. But he wanted to play with her. “I’ll tell you what, you help me in the kitchen, then we will play, ok?” He agreed and was quite the little helper, never minding his clothes getting sopping wet in the process of rinsing dishes.
Aunt Naomi disappeared. Little Teddy found her for us. Not quite talking yet he stood outside the bedroom door pointing into the room. “Yes Teddy, that is my bedroom where I go nigh-night.” Placing his little finger up to his lips, motioning me to shush. There she was stretched out on the bed taking a catnap. Proving to me he was sensitive enough to be quiet when someone is trying to sleep.
My youngest granddaughter, Emily, had agreed to a shopping trip with me. I learned she is in to antiques and all things old. A girl after my own heart! Initially we were after a bookcase, but that got taken care of by a friend. She’s becoming a reader, oh happy day! But it seems some home décor was also needed.
To the antique flea market we went, with boyfriend in tow. I thought maybe to keep her from spending too much, but no. He’s into old stuff too…my heart is full. What fun it is to (finally) have a young member of the family desiring heirloom things. She probably could have gone shopping in my home and saved some money. The two of them made this old lady very happy.
Families. Sometimes we think we think there is no living with them. In reality we cannot live without them. They are capable of bringing both tears of pain and joy, but the love is worth it all. Its been said we can choose our friends but something as important as kin are up to the Lord. He knows the personalities needed for us to expand and grow.
Most importantly, to hand the ones we treasure over to Jesus when we are helpless to make sense of awkward situations. Only he can do that; I can vouch to you it will all be good. Not just for you, but will bring added respect to Jesus. Then you too, can become the voice of experience spreading the good news to others that need hope. The Christmas season a prime time to do that.
Gratitude Attitude
The upcoming holiday season has all the makings of being different, just like last year was. Changes are part of life. The part of life I don’t like. It runs along the line of kids not coming home for Thanksgiving. Or the death of a loved one leaving an empty chair at the table will always bring a heart wrenching ache.
Many Thanksgivings ago, a group of our friends joined in making a basket for a less fortunate family. One of the women had the idea of using a laundry basket; a homemaker never has too many of those. We had a good time meeting up at the local grocer to select foods to place in it. There was ample room for the turkey and all the trimmings.
Imagine our surprise when delivering this; to learn the family had no oven! We had the good fortune that one of our kids worked at an appliance store, making it possible for us to throw in a few dollars and provide that as well. I think the Indians had a saying something along the line of you can’t know what someone is going through until you walk a mile in their moccasins.
As you comb your mind, desperately seeking ways to make things festive, remember two this. Things could always be worse, and don’t forget to be grateful. Retail stores barely acknowledge Thanksgiving. Your thoughts will bring all sorts of memories to mind that could easily be overlooked. The near miss of an accident, the ability to pay your bills, or maybe being thankful you have an oven. An attitude of gratitude doesn’t focus on the have nots, just the haves.
This year decreased availability of items as prices go up in everything imaginable is a recipe for a stressful season. I urge you to take stock of what you do have. Have you seen the pictures of Christmas trees made of books? Lots of us have excess books, put them to work!
Let your creative juices flow. If you’re lacking in that, check out Pinterest, it seems to be teeming with projects. Tap into the people you know that love to work with their hands. Or, try shopping in the local mom and pop markets; they may cater services that Walmart doesn’t. For some time now I have heard we should check them out, too many have succumbed to the pandemic crisis. They struggle to make ends meet too and will thank you for the support.
Praise to the good Lord above that we still have options.
One Day Wonders with JBK 