Author: Quilter

I find life lessons and sometimes the humor and/or hope in everyday events.

Mom

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© jb katke

My assignment is nearly complete. I will confess it wasn’t an easy one.

My son requested I write about my mother. She died when he was a young boy. The task brings up memories, some that had been long forgotten. Others tended to be painful, only because it put me in a bad light. I suppose that cannot be helped, and chose not to add those to her memoir.

As a daughter, everything is written through my eyes. The memories bring twenty-twenty hindsight of an immature child. Today I know better than to say and do what I did then.

Mom did the best she could without access to child psychologists or You Tube to come to her aid. She never held an infant in her arms until my brother was born. Being the firstborn, he broke the ice of motherhood. Although, probably nothing could have probably prepared her for me. Don’t you find it interesting how different siblings can be while having the same parents, growing up with the same experiences together?  

As I wrote, my mind traveled back to those last days of her life. Reliving them, watching her weaken as time went by. Mom passed away at the ripe old age of sixty-one. By todays standard, that’s young.

We are about to celebrate the mothers in our life. It used to be we only had one, and in some cases, still is. But the adopted child is doubly blessed; born in the womb by one, and in the heart of another. Both equally vital. Then there are step mothers that have to outlive the stigma of being evil. Not all of them are you know.

Let’s not forget our mother-in-law. Mine was a keeper. She raised the man I fell in love with and married. Have you ever thanked yours for your man? I did and would recommend doing it, your words will be much appreciated. It’s not easy building a little boy into a loving, responsible husband. Particularly if yours is a single mom, trying to fill the role of two parents. I haven’t forgotten we are honoring mothers today, but there is much to be said for a dad in the house too; setting a manly example.

All this to say I salute you mothers. Wear you badge proudly. It’s unfortunate that with our badges come tired eyes, thunder thighs, saggy breasts, and varicose veins. Oh yes, wrinkles too. It’s okay, you have earned them all through years of service and self-sacrifice.

Keep in mind, Jesus doesn’t make mistakes, not with the children under your roof, not your appearance. Both of them give us something to work with. Yes?

The Last Kiss

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We never know when the last kiss will happen.

Daves text read: “Had an accident this morning. Everyone is fine. Have to go for a drug test now. Not sure what happens the rest of the day. Made a left at a 4-way-stop and a girl broadside me.”

Our day had started like every other workday, lumbering out of bed, still full of sleep. Breakfast made and a kiss as Dave went out the door. Only I was a mess the rest of the morning, waiting for a phone call.

His job requires driving a company car. Protocol dictates his next step. Accidents happen. That’s why they are called accidents, it’s unintentional, otherwise they would be referred to as normals.

Have you been there? To know how I felt?

This is why I rise at o-dark-thirty. To see him. To get what may at any given day be my last kiss. My mind took me places none of us care to be.

His student passengers were unharmed. To his credit he remained calm and collected. A later report from one of his colleagues confirmed his level-headedness kept the students from panic.

Have you experienced that last kiss? Need I mention the emotion of sending your beloved police officer or fire-fighter off to another workday?

Never underestimate a goodbye kiss. There is more meaning packed into it than the passionate ones.

It says I love you… I will miss you while you are gone…Thank you for your work ethic…You make our lives more comfortable…I appreciate you…Be safe…I look forward to your return tonight.

God willing, and he did, my loved one returned home from just another day of work that included an accident. Jesus is always with you too.

All Things (K)New

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© jb katke

Have you noticed the change?

No perhaps not. You have not been aware of the tan walls in my writing room, they are blue now.

The change makes me feel like the outdoors has entered in bringing fresh air inside. It renews the spirit, making me anticipate impactful words coming out of my keyboard.

Why can’t I feel that specialness every day? Each one is unique and cannot be repeated. No doubt, it is because of so much ordinary going on.

There is work to be done, schedules to keep, appointments made, and obligations. The list is endless. Too many ‘to-dos’ drown out the extraordinary moments. If you are like me, I make mental notes but then forget to remember them.

I have similar moments when in church. Not everyone would be in agreement with me. A relative once told me, “I can’t go to church when I see so many hypocrites there.”

Duly noted. But rather than point fingers, I see folks like me, that screw up from time-to-time. Bloopers happen.

Hypocrites are aware of their words and actions. Whereas a Jesus follower can forget their humanness. Letting poor company plant a bad seed in the mind, allowing it to ooze into the heart where it eventually spills out of the mouth. It benefits no one.

It happens to the best of us. That is why church-going is priceless. I need a reminder that Jesus sees me for who I really am. He knows I’m gonna screw up once in a while. That is the reason behind his death on a cross. To forgive.

It’s all about redeeming and making new. His forgiveness brings fresh air into a life. The spirit is renewed and feels energized to make each day count for something. The change happens inside, but is visible outside.

Fred Returns

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© jb katke

There comes a time when ya gotta give up. We named him Fred.

He’s back. I posted about him in the Near Surrender To Fred blog. We are now in our second year of hosting Fred. Uninvited I might add.

We have had the annoyance of a cowbird seeing it’s reflection in our window. Fred demands mating with it and will not take no for an answer. He ignores his female counterpart at the feeder.

The screens came down to protect them from damage. Fred now has free access to perching on our window sill with frequent body slams trying to get at its reflection. One would think he would get the hint or knock himself silly.

Covering the window with aluminum foil, we thought the shiny surface would deter it him becoming a nuisance. No such luck. Swapping the aluminum foil with cardboard was considered, but talked ourselves out of it. To be effective, it should be placed outside the window where the spring rains would make a mess of it.

Either way, our vision outdoors was blocked. What really angers me is Fred is keeping the humming birds away. I have worked hard at drawing them, all to no avail now.

Anger is putting it nicely; I want to kill him. Wouldn’t you know, Jesus had something to say about a birds.

Not even a sparrow, worth only half a penny, can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. (Matthew 10:29 NLT)

I bet that applies to cowbirds too, so murder is out of the question. That blasted bird is holding us captive.  On our pleasant days we have been unable to open windows for the lack of screens.

Dave has done a little research and learned a further reason to hate Fred. Cowbirds lays eggs in other bird’s nest. If the home-owning bird returns home to find foreign eggs, it kicks them out. The next time it leaves the nest, that ornery cowbird kicks out the homeowners eggs. Talk about squatters taking over, I have nothing nice to say about him.

In the past, I have wished to learn the various bird calls to know who is ‘singing.’ I have learned the cowbird; he is still lurking about. Any ounce of Christianity I have is quickly evaporating.

Until I continued to read what Jesus has to say about people v birds.

So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to him than a whole flock of sparrows.            (Matthew 10:31)

Clearly Fred knows enough scripture to not fear the evil intent of my heart. As a last resort, we have placed a wood owl wall-hanging Dave made in our window. Fred seems to be keeping his distance now. That was then, now he charges the owl, daring it to a duel.

Perhaps I should be content that the good Lord values me above a bird, regardless of my heart. It almost makes me want to surrender my anger to play nice to this creature God created. After all, it is people that God created to be his own image, not some birdbrain.

Last years words remain true, I still dislike him. Forgetting the aluminum foil of last year didn’t work, I once again suggested it to Dave. Not to mention that it would likewise keep the humming birds away as well.

As we talked the situation through, I mentioned if we had dark screens, Fred might not see himself. With that, Dave disappeared. I guessed our conversation was over.

Unbeknownst to me, Dave had some dark screen in his shop. He swapped out the screen with the dark one, and voila, Fred quit body slamming the window!

Problem solved. I hope.

A Necessary Day

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© jb katke

The views expressed are mine, but I am not the only one.

I have become the person I would try to avoid in my younger years. I used to dread talking with people that were forever bringing up God. Is this you?

Today, Good Friday, is one of necessity. It’s a mixed bag of people that would agree or disagree with me. All of us have our reasons.

When I was a child the airwaves of Good Friday were filled with television shows coming from churches. No more; today is just another ordinary day. Only it isn’t.

I won’t go into the details of Jesus’ death. I have briefly mentioned them in my previous blog, The How of Jesus.

The world, in its’ early days was perfect. One guy, Adam, jacked it up, making us all suffer. Jesus knows.

His plan was to be in friendship with his creation. If feelings are not mutual and you’ve experienced rejection from others; you have a feel for what I am saying. Jesus knows.

A real concern these days is loneliness. Jesus knows.

Being out in public has become dangerous with the fear of being beaten. Jesus knows.

Children mocking their peers can grow into mocking adults when you are misunderstood. Jesus knows.

As Jesus hung on that cross, he felt all of the above. But knew it was necessary. The Good Book says the only way we can have that friendship with Jesus is for him to die a martyrs’ death. He did it willingly.

After his death, he sent the Holy Spirit so that we can experience a peace that the world cannot offer. All this for the opportunity to have a relationship with him and ultimately an eternity together; to live in perfection. It wasn’t a good day for Jesus, but it was a necessary one for you and I.

This Sunday we will be full of thanksgiving because Jesus rose from the dead and is alive and loving us still. Feel free to join in the celebration.

The How of Jesus

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© jb katke

Easter season has arrived, putting us in the middle of what is known as Holy Week.

Does your week feel holy? Mine doesn’t either. But a lot went on, oh so many years ago.

We know it’s not another day in Paradise. A Paradise that once was. It can make one pause, wondering what happened?

Evil entered the scene. You and I have seen a lot of that and possibly been a part of wrongdoing.  Because God is holy, and cannot dwell with sin, he left our planet.

I can assure you Easter is not about the coloring of eggs or hiding them. Nor a bunny. Last week my blog, Marital Death, featured the why of Jesus. Today I ponder the how of Jesus.

He and his dad could be considered a mystery were it not for the Good Book. Because our finite minds cannot grasp all the info his book carries, some things remain a mystery. Like the son Jesus, the father God, and Holy Spirit all being One Person. From cover-to-cover God reveals himself, speaks of creation, zeros in on people groups, moving on to families and their foibles. He continues covering religious scholars and sending his son to earth on a mission.

That mission was when things turned ugly. Really ugly. Jesus was not well received by everyone. His words came across as outrageous, calling himself the Son of God. People were clinging to his message of hope, putting the religious leaders of that time into a snit.  He was perfect in every way; the religious scholars were not. They felt the man must be stopped.

By way of an unfair trial, mocked for who he claimed to be; defying him to save himself. Jesus endured a beating of leather straps with bone on the end tearing into his back. Thirty-nine lashes was the norm, just one short of what often brought death.

He was forced to carry his instrument for death, a cross, on his shredded back. His wrists and feet were nailed, yes, nailed to that cross. As if that wasn’t enough, observers watched as Jesus struggled to breathe; taking pleasure in his suffering.

But there were things that didn’t meet the eye. They did not see that Jesus endured this willingly- for them. For you and for me too. Jesus knew this day was coming, he knew what his mission was and the why of it. It was the only way to bring a forever life with God to the people he loved so much. Another thing that went unseen. Jesus carried the weight of all the sin this world has to offer.

Think on that. Jesus took the blame for all of it so that we wouldn’t have to suffer for the absence of God. How did he do it? I don’t like to suffer. It hurts, its hard. Why would anyone intentionally desire to suffer? Jesus holds mankind in high esteem, making it worth it all. More than worth it, necessary.

That isn’t the end of story. Gods’ will cannot be stopped. He didn’t stay dead; he rose from the grave; you might say he disappeared into thin air. Jesus had made a promise. That when he left the world he would send a helper, the Holy Spirit. That spirit gives us what we need. Hope, patience, perseverance and endurance to live like him.

Such as, believing this story which isn’t a story at all, it’s for real.   You can believe it just like you believe in the aforementioned egg. There is the shell, the yolk, and the egg white. Three in one. Just because you can’t visualize God doesn’t make him nonexistent. Gods’ presence is all around us; the harder we look, the more we see him. Consider the wind and waves of the ocean. We can’t explain where it comes from or where its going, but we feel it.

Nor is it by accident that we honor Jesus’ death in the spring. New life is showing itself  with trees budding and flowers breaking the earth. New life is the why and how of Jesus; he brings purpose and meaning to our life with an anticipation for a future with him. A new and improved you!

It’s about relationship. It means living in Paradise forever, with God, Jesus and a whole lot of folks that may have prayed for you. Lets’ face it, we all have heavy burdens to carry. That Holy Spirit strengthens us to keep on keeping on.

By the way, Jesus continues to love us.

Marital Death

© jb katke “I can’t see the forest for the trees.” It’s a 1546 Renaissance proverb found in John Heywood’s collection. He was born a little before my time, so I cannot say what he was referencing. It could allude to any number of topics. I am applying it to a well-known situation that I […]

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© jb katke

“I can’t see the forest for the trees.”

It’s a 1546 Renaissance proverb found in John Heywood’s collection. He was born a little before my time, so I cannot say what he was referencing. It could allude to any number of topics.

I am applying it to a well-known situation that I have never experienced. Death by divorce. The following are my observations. I am counting on your feedback if I am off base.

You may wonder what a forest of trees has to do with marriage. Lots. As in any difficult situation, yours is the only viewpoint seen. Other stuff gets in the way to see the situation clearly. Unfortunately, likewise for the other party.

In fairness, I am certain at the wedding ceremony, a new husband and wife could not fathom ever divorcing. Never-ending love was the promise, vowing togetherness for better or for worse. Wedding vows may not include that anymore, I haven’t attended a wedding recently to state that as fact.

Then again, I have concerns. The mindset of things potentially going bad; that divorcing has become the norm. The Good Lord designed marriage, but not divorce.

When the honeymoon is over and the rubber hits the road, goals may no longer be in sync with each other. Agreements are few and far between. I could add more, but you may know them better than I. This is the why of Jesus.

If you have issues with yourself, your spouse may begin to agree with you. Mutual respect goes out the window. This is the why of Jesus.

Money can be a fabulous contender for disagreement. Living without becomes tiresome and the stress of paying bills is never-ending. This is the why of Jesus.

You have my word; sometimes too much cash is a blessing. It keeps one from making foolish expenditures.

The kids. Don’t even get me started. Yes, they do adjust, but the process can be too painful for young hearts to deal with. They were wanted at one time, but now, one of their parents cannot be bothered? I know their needs keep growing along with them, parenthood is a giant sacrifice. This is the why of Jesus.

Divorce may look like the answer. In reality, it is a chosen death. Death of a relationship, a deliberate rejection. Genuine love cannot be turned on and off like a water faucet. Unlike physical death, both parties must take on a new life with the potential of zero support. That is a no fun party. This is the why of Jesus.

You don’t hear me saying abuse, be it mental or physical, should ever be tolerated. There are exceptions to every rule. To live in bondage is not living, it is existing in the shadows. Survival from endangerment becomes necessary. This is the why of Jesus.

If a belief system has moved in a spiritual way, it leaves the spouse saying, “This is not who I married, who are you?” Suddenly, all of the above becomes an issue.

The why of Jesus is he knows it. All of it. Learning, and leaning on him can help. The Good Book says, ‘Come to me who are burdened, I will lighten your load.’ Give him a try, he’s worth the effort. This I have experienced and know to be true.

He supports us by saying ‘I love you with a never-ending love and am close to you.’ He strengthens us in our daily responsibilities. Jesus knows we need funds to live, he asks us to give our heart to him that he designed with a special space just for him to live. He will not barge in; he enters by invitation only.

He takes all the stress and confusion; making something good of it. How nice it would be nice if the good happened overnight. But none of us got where we are today overnight, it takes time. Be patient with Jesus as he works in your spouse’ mind and heart. He is the only one capable of the task.

Vintage Blessings

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© jb katke
© jb katke

Circumstance can be better than they appear.

Looking online, I see class trips after a high school graduation remain alive and well. Did I have one? No. The high school I graduated from was brand new; mine was the second graduating class. There was a reason. There is always a reason for things.

Neighborhoods were sprouting everywhere. Young families with fresh mortgages lacked funds to send their child to a far-away destination just to click a few snapshots for the memory book.

Obviously, I have survived the lack of opportunity.

Spring break season for college students is over. These young’uns are not even degreed graduates, but off they go to pleasure island. Wherever that is. Some off to their death, I should say.

Seven of them, I couldn’t keep counting, I know there is more, but it’s too depressing. These college attendees didn’t return home. Whatever the cause, death seems premature for them, not even getting started in life. The pain of loss is incredible.

Because I didn’t go to college, another missed memory for me. Maybe I should be grateful because I am still alive. And making memories of another sort.

Fast forward to my marriage with no honeymoon. At the time, it was okay. Later on, not so much. I was thrilled to have my man under the same roof forever. Many times’ I have reminded myself of that contentment. It works every time.

It’s been said we could take our honeymoon later. No!

Traveling together later is a vacation, not a honeymoon. I will let your imagination define the difference. We have traveled together more times than I can count and I am grateful for that.

The thing is, it’s all about viewpoint. Mine is a lot of hindsight. There are so many hurts and missed opportunities in life. The stuff we cannot explain the whys of.

But repeating my words above, there is a reason.

A picture is worth a thousand words. How many times I have heard that! And licked my wounds because I had no pictures. However, the lens of a camera doesn’t catch everything. The circumstances that bring us to where we are today. It would be in our best interest to remember that.

To realize there is a God who does know and understands us becomes invaluable. Heck, he made us the people we are. Circumstances have his stamp of approval because he knows what is best. That is why he designed a special place inside each of us that only he can fill to satisfaction. Did you know that?

The Good Lord knows what it will take for us to turn to him. Sometimes it can hurt if I hold onto things so tightly that I should let go. Instead of being bitter, feel protected. He is higher and has a better view of what is ahead for us. He holds tears and heals hurts. That’s a fact.

there is Always hope

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Considering my situation, I should not have laughed. I couldn’t help myself. The waves were tossing me around as if I were a rag doll.

All my husband Dave had to do was release his grip on my arm and I would be carried away, never to be seen again. But he didn’t, his grasp kept me safe next to him.

I was up to my shoulders in the Caribbean Sea. Those that know me best understand I have a deep respect for water. Unable to swim, I limit my use to drinking it, showers, dishes and laundry.

We were part of a group on a short-term mission by Won By One, in Jamaica. Paradise, had we not been thrust into Harmons, among the poorest of the poor. Yet they were happy.

How can that be?

Two of us women were in charge of sorting the clothes that had been donated. Mens, ladies, girls and boys, including shoes. Many of the residents were barefoot.

One Jamaican woman sticks in my mind. She and her two children took a taxi to our mission. I met her at the door asking how we could help her. “Anything you have to sell us would be much appreciated.”

It was the practice of the mission to sell the donated goods. While you might think that wrong to do, it was explained to me. “By selling our donations, these people gain self-respect. Instead of promoting dependance, it gives them pride to know they have provided for their family.”  At the time the cost was minimal, clothing could run as much as one cent per item.

Having deposited his charge to our Mission establishment, I noted the taxi left. Whatever the mother bought, she would have to carry as she walked home.

That day we went to the Caribbean was a little recess from what we came to do. Build a home, the size of a bedroom. The land some of them owned were minute and far from where tourists visit. The less fortunate are not allowed there, it would not make for good PR.

Jamaicans are a friendly lot, smiles abound. My guess is they lack medical care, I know they lack dentists.

Yet they are happy.

How can happiness thrive in abject poverty?

Because they know no other way of life. They have no access to how others live, having nothing to compare their lifestyle to. The Good Book says we will always have poor among us. Maybe that is so that we will see God better, perhaps make a difference in ones life, just like Won By One.

They know there is a God. Countless churches from all over the globe come to minister to these folks. It’s only natural to cling to what other faiths offer. There are over four hundred different religions. Take your pick from what you want to believe in, always embracing the message of hope.

But…is their hope in the one true God?

Only he knows. It would seem unlikely, except for Won By One. They reside nearby offering opportunity and hope. They are a steadfast anchor for spiritual growth. Fortunately, God only looks at hearts, not our surroundings or belongings.

He is holding these people, caring and protecting as only a good God would do. Like my Dave, he has a strong grip on their heart, keeping them close to him and safe. By the way, he is here for you too.

What’s In a Day?

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  © jb katke

Here is the potential of opening a can of worms.

Every day is some kind of day. That could be considered a deep thought for a shallow mind.

Somebody, somewhere decided to make each day of the year a national observance of something. I mean the nondescript observances that for the most part are irrelevant to our life.

For instance, National Banana Cream Pie Day, or National Cheese Doodle Day. What is a cheese doodle? Never have I started my day thinking of pies. Who makes this stuff up and for that matter who determines the day of note?

From what I gather it is the United States Congress.

It seems there are lots more issues that need attention than banana cream pie day. Can I hear an Amen?

I have already missed a really good one, National Old Stuff Day. Who among us doesn’t have old stuff. This spring I hope to unload a bunch of my old stuff with a garage sale. My track record thus far has not been good.  No one wants my old stuff.

Another missed observance was National Son Day. I have a son and am mighty proud of him. I try to let him know how much he means to his dad and I, but will let him have the deciding vote. The point is there must be sons out there who don’t get the feels of appreciation. So, a special day is set aside for him. That is a sad commentary.

Is there a National Daughters Day too? If I don’t ask, I may miss that as well. I have a couple of them and dread the thought they may think I’m not proud of them as well. But then, if I did, at least I would be giving the kids equal billing…no observance of sons and daughters at all. Except for those moments when I verbally tell them how special they are. I have been on a words kick lately; that may give more meaning than a mandated day of observance.

There are some days that concern me. Lets’ just focus on this month, March. Many of the days share special observances, they must, there are only so many days in the year. And sooo many subject matters. Take for instance the 13th. Its National Good Samaritan Day, Open an Umbrella Indoors Day and Napping Day. Does this indicate one can only be a do-gooder one day a year, and what is with opening an umbrella indoors mean? What about only being able to take a nap one day a year? Mothers of little people would take issue with that one for sure.

There is even a day set aside for True Confessions. The Good Book says to confess our sins whatever the day is.

March 16th might be much appreciated for No Selfies Day. You already know what you look like.  

Sorry but the 18th has already been spoken for. It’s National Supreme Sacrifice Day. The supreme sacrifice has already been accomplished by Jesus, who died for the wrongs of the world. Ya can’t get any bigger or wide covering than that.

Do we need a day set aside for Common Curtesy Day? If so, it’s the 21st of the month. Everyone should love the 22nd, National Good Off Day. Many may get the two days mixed up with daily patterns.

Why would we need National Weeds Day on the 28th of March? In my part of the country, we may still be waiting for the snow to melt away. This year there are parts of the country that will agree with that clear into June!

The 30th is another day of shared observances, National Pencil Day and National I Am In Control Day. If you are in control, how come pencils have erasers? Just a thought.

But what about today? It has to be recognizing something. It is, it’s National Be Heard Day. Everyone has an opinion on something and feels the need to let others know about it.

Are you listening to me? Here is my message to you:

Let your children know how much you love them, no matter how old they are. Show kindness daily, forget opening an umbrella indoors, it’s of no purpose. Regardless of the day if you feel sleepy take a nap, but not at work. Admit it when your wrong, especially to the Lord, he already knows it but confession soothes the soul. Thank Jesus for his supreme sacrifice. Try not to goof off, time is precious, instead show some curtesy to those who don’t deserve it. Pull out some unwanted weeds. Pencils excel over pens; words can be erased when we realize we are not in control.